Short!

I'm so short, I had to rappel out of bed this morning.
I'm so short, I walk under closed doors.
I'm so short, I have to look up to see my boots.
I'm so short, I could trip on a dime.
I'm so short, I need a stepladder to get in my car.

This list of bad "short jokes" comes to you courtesy of a very happy soon-to-be former soldier. Woohoo!